Bittersweet end??

The day after we returned from Virginia, Kitty turned 18 months old (that magical age in the church where they can now attend nursery - Yea!!). Then two days after that, she decided to quit nursing cold turkey. I was probably nursing her 4-5 times a day (& occasionally at night still), but for some reason on Thursday evening, Oct. 19, she had decided that she was done. Whenever I would sit down to try and nurse her she would turn away and shake her head no. This marks the first time since I was pregnant with M&M that I have not been either pregnant or nursing (9 years straight). M&M & Luke nursed until they were just a week or two shy of 2 years old and then Bondie nursed until she was 18 months old. All three of them weaned themselves gradually and eventually quit because I was pregnant with the next baby - I was 6 months pregnant with Kitty when Blondie quit & 3 months pregnant with the other two.

Amazingly I am okay with Kitty quitting - although I am still very surprised that it happened. When Blondie quit nursing I was a little emotional about it because I felt like she was being cheated since she & the new baby were going to be so close in age. With Kitty however I haven't been upset about it. I must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed nursing all of my kids. There is a special bond that is formed between mother & baby that can't be duplicated.

Now that I'm through nursing, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. As I was getting ready for church 2 weeks ago I told DH that now I can wear dresses that don't button up the front. Then when I went to my closet to put one on, I found that the ones I have either don't fit quite right or are way out of style (especially since I haven't really worn one on a regular basis for the past 9 years). The other ironic part about it is that dresses are not really the style now - everyone's wearing skirts!!

Some of the freedoms I can enjoy now include:

• I can now leave the house and not worry about how long I'm gone.
• DH & I can sit through a whole gospel doctrine lesson and be able to listen to the teacher!
• I don't have to make sure I'm home by the kids' bedtime.
• I don't have to make sure Kitty is fed before I go anywhere.
• No more 3 a.m. feedings (although she occasionally wakes up still and just wants me hold her until she goes back to sleep).
• No more nursing clothes (or maternity clothes) - you fellow moms know what I'm referring to :-)
• I can wear belts now and not have to worry about the belt hurting my arm while I nurse.
• I don't have to carry a blanket with me wherever I go in case Kitty wants to feed.
• I can now take medicine without having to worry if it's safe for the baby (either pregnant or nursing).
• And as mentioned above I can now wear dresses that don't fasten in the front (although I don't currently have any that I can wear).

So, until we decide to have baby #5 I am going to try and enjoy this new-found freedom!