Neat story

This is an article I just came across today. How would you like to be able to say that you were born in the temple?!? What a neat story! Baby born at the Tonga Temple

Baby K's birth

Baby K has been keeping me pretty busy these last 2 weeks so I haven't been able to write up the details of her birth yet. I finally have a free moment right now so I will hopefully be able to get this posted soon.

Thursday, April 3rd, I felt nauseous pretty much all day off and on so I was wondering if I would go into labor Thursday night/Friday morning. I was nauseous before the births of M&M & Luke so I thought that this might be a sign of the birth getting close. Friday came and went though without anything happening and Saturday was uneventful as well. I attended M&M & Luke's soccer games Saturday morning and listened to conference throughout the day. DH mentioned on Saturday that he wanted this baby to be born as far away from Kitty's birthday as possible (April 17th). I made comments to several people also that the thing I like least about childbirth is just not knowing when labor is going to kick in and when the baby will be born. Each night I would go to bed wondering if labor would start sometime that night...

(It turns out that it was a good think I didn't go into labor on Friday because my midwife had another client due at around the same time as me who had her baby Friday morning...)

Sunday morning (April 6th) I woke up around 2 a.m. and felt a gush of water and then a second gush. It took me a few seconds to realize what was going on and then I realized that my water had broken (in bed). I quickly got up and hurried into the bathroom. DH woke up because of the noise I was making and he got the sheets changed on the bed. DH encouraged me to go back to bed and try to get as much sleep as I could before the contractions started. With Luke's labor my water broke in the middle of the night as well and then contractions started about 2 hours later. So I went back to bed and tried to sleep but wasn't very successful. So I went downstairs and put in a Jane Austen movie and laid out on the couch. When I left my bedroom Kitty called out from her room, "Mom!" I went into her room to look at her and she was sitting straight up in bed. I told her that she was going to probably have a new brother or sister born that day to which she quickly said, "A brother". I then patted her on the back and told her to lay back down and go to sleep & she did.

I started noticing contractions not long after that and they seemed to be somewhat regular. DH came downstairs not long after I did and got a little bit of sleep there on the couch. I decided to call my midwife, Hugs, around 6 a.m. and she said that she would be right up. The unfortunate thing was that we didn't have the birth pool from her yet and that takes a while to set up and get filled with hot water. I then called my parents around 7 a.m. to let them know that we would have to make a change in our plans for the day. Saturday had been my mom's birthday and we were going to have dinner & birthday cake at my parents' house after conference on Sunday. I was supposed to be making my mom a birthday cake. (I got the cake made Saturday night but I told her that she would have to frost it after she came over...)

Well, unfortunately after I called Hugs my contractions seemed to slow down. By the time she got to our house they were very infrequent and not very strong. Hugs & DH got the pool set up and started filling it while I laid down on the bed and tried to rest some. The kids eventually all got up and the excitement level was definitely high. Kitty asked if she could get her swimsuit on because she wanted to swim in the pool that we were setting up in my bedroom. My parents came over and then later on my sister and her fiance came over as well. Everyone went downstairs to watch conference while I stayed upstairs to rest and listen over the radio.

Between sessions Hugs came back up to see how things were going. She suggested that I eat something or try and take a walk. I tried getting in the pool for a little bit but that didn't seem to change anything. So we decided to all go for a walk since it was fairly nice weather outside. We walked around the block and I had to stop for about 2 contractions during the walk. When we got back to the house Hugs said that she was going to go back home and that we should call her when things picked up again. Hugs thought that the contractions might not pick up again until later that evening... :( I felt a little bit like when a woman arrives at the hospital in labor and gets sent home because she's not in active labor yet... (Unfortunately for Hugs this was the birthday of her 11 year old daughter and they had company that was going to be coming over for dinner - and Kitty was born on her wedding anniversary.) After Hugs left we took one more walk around the block and then everyone headed back downstairs again to watch the afternoon session of conference.

I went back up to my room and laid down on the bed to listen to conference again. At around 2:30 I started noticing that the contractions were picking up in intensity and they were coming closer together. I managed through them for about an hour and then I went downstairs to get DH because they were getting hard for me to manage on my own. DH was asleep on the couch so I had to wake him up and told him that I needed him upstairs. DH came up and timed the next few contractions and could tell that they were getting much stronger than they had been earlier in the day. I was trying to wait until conference was over before we called Hugs but we decided to call her about 10 minutes before it ended. She said that she had had just enough time to finish the preparations for her family's dinner and that she would be right up.

Once Hugs got there around 4:30 I was definitely in active labor. Unfortunately we kept having interruptions from the kids wanting to know when I was going to have the baby because no one wanted to miss it. My mom got dinner on the table for everyone while DH & Hugs were upstairs with me trying to manage the labor. This was one of my more intense labors and I had a hard time at the end managing through the contractions. I had back labor and the pain was very intense. Probably at around 5:30 I got into the pool again and I had some really intense contractions while I was in there. We kept getting interruptions every now and then from the kids and DH finally had to lock the bedroom door because he could tell that the interruptions were distracting me too much. With each contraction I was holding onto DH & Hugs and trying to just get through them.

I finally turned towards the outside of the pool and was on my knees with my arms holding onto DH at the edge of the pool. Hugs told me to push whenever I felt like it and I finally just bore down & said, "I'm pushing" and gave a great big push. Hugs quickly checked me and said that the head was out! so I needed to slow down and let my body stretch so that I wouldn't tear. Hugs told me to wait until the next contraction before I pushed again and then she told DH that he had about 3 seconds to get anyone into the room that wanted to see the birth.

DH quickly ran to the the bedroom door and called down the stairs that it was time!! The kids and my mom and sister quickly hurried into the room when I felt the next contraction coming on and before I knew it the baby was out! When Hugs said that she was bringing the baby up between my legs and then I needed to grab it I couldn't believe that I had done it! That was an awesome feeling! I quickly picked up the baby in my arms and sat back against the side of the pool. Hugs wrapped a towel around it and the baby had no problems whatsoever breathing right away. I lifted up the towel and saw that it was another girl - and she was completely covered in vernix (a white "cheesy" substance found on the skin of infants which usually decreases as the baby reaches gestation). This baby had the most vernix that I have ever seen on a baby before and Hugs said that it is usually thicker on babies that are born early. By the measurements and observations that Hugs took later on the baby she said that she measured closer to 36 weeks gestation than the 38 1/2 weeks that we had calculated.


I sat in the pool relaxing for a little bit and then I delivered the placenta in the pool. We then let Luke cut the umbilical cord (M&M got to do it with Kitty) and then I got out of the pool and moved over to the bed. Luckily my uterus clamped down pretty quickly and I didn't have to endure too much uterine massage by my midwife. :) DH took the baby as I got out of the pool and then he let each of the kids take a turn holding her. After Hugs took all of her measurements and my mom dressed her I tried nursing her for the first time and then I took a quick shower while everyone took turns holding her downstairs.

It took us a while to decide on a name but I think that K Anne is definitely fitting her now. She was born at 6:15 p.m. and was 8 lbs 0 ozs and 19 1/2" long. It was definitely weird having her in the evening - Hugs didn't end up leaving until around 9 o'clock that night. I was starving after the birth and ate quite a bit of food after my shower (plus some birthday cake). I can't say that I got too much out of the conference sessions that day but I do remember hearing Elder Ballard's talk on mothers and President Monson's talk where he mentioned his wife being in a coma (both of these were as my labor was getting more intense).

I think the thing that threw me the most with this birth was that it was nothing like my other labors. I think we were all anticipating the birth to take place sometime in the morning and then we would have the rest of the day to relax and recover. Unfortunately for the kids they were very antsy the whole day because we didn't know when the birth would take place. Then when things finally kicked into gear they got very intense pretty quickly and I had a hard time managing the contractions. All in all my active labor time was only about 3 1/2 hours which was less than half the time of any of my other labors. DH was an awesome support to me the whole time and I really needed him to help me get through the contractions. I informed both DH and Hugs towards the end of the labor that there was no way I wanted to have any more kids after this one. I am now not so set on that decision - it's a good thing that babies come out so cute because the end result is definitely worth the pain & effort! I have felt great following the birth and I think my recovery was easier and quicker than with any of the other kids. I definitely think that part of the reason for this was the aerobics that I had been doing regularly up until the birth.

Views on Childbirth - part 8

Read part 7: Blondie's Birth here

Kitty's Birth
Kitty was definitely our surprise baby - in more ways than one! At the beginning of August I came down with some severe back & neck pain which had me laid up for a couple of weeks. I thought that I had just overexerted myself and finally went into the doctor's to see if they could do anything. I was given some prescriptions for the pain & some anti-inflammatory pills. While I was there though I asked if they could give me a pregnancy test just to make sure that we could rule that out. I got the prescriptions filled and went home to take my first round of them. The next morning though I got a call from the doctor's office telling me, "Congratulations, you're pregnant!" I wasn't too sure what to think about that news. At the time Blondie had just barely turned 1! I asked the nurse if I could continue taking the prescriptions that I had been given and after consulting with the doctor was told that I should stop taking them immediately. Well, so much for the pain relief. Thankfully I was able to manage with just Tylenol for a time and then I got better to the point that I didn't need to take anything anymore.

I wanted to see Hugs again for this pregnancy & birth but she informed me that he Stake President had told her that she could not continue to practice midwifery without having her temple recommend taken away until a law was passed to make it officially legal in the state! At this time the midwives had been trying for several years to get a law passed to make the practice of midwifery legal. It was inadvertently made illegal several years previous when some wording had been changed in the Utah law regarding the practice of medicine. So, I decided to see my midwife's partner, Suz, and try to do all I could on my end to help this law get passed. The legislative session in Utah runs from January-March and my baby was due April 23rd. My midwife during this time was continuing to involve herself with birth by working at the Birth Center located in the Salt Lake Valley (she has a RN degree and worked as a Labor & Delivery nurse for years before she became a midwife). Thankfully we were able to get the law passed that year and my midwife was able to attend to me once again starting in the last month of my pregnancy. Kitty's birth was the first birth she attended after the law was passed.

I had my 20 week ultrasound and we elected not to find out the gender again. My mom was scheduled to fly out on Monday, April 18th. She couldn't come until then because she was accompanying some kids for a solo & ensemble festival that was taking place the Saturday before. On that Saturday, April 16th, I was having some fairly regular contractions in the morning and I though that this might be it. I called my parents and my mom was not too happy. Things slowed down though the rest of the day and the contractions pretty much stopped. That evening I gave my midwife a call and let her know what had gone on that day. I told her to be prepared in case things progressed that night.

Well, I ended up getting hardly any sleep at all that night. Around midnight I started having some fairly regular contractions and I knew that this was it. We called Hugs around 5 in the morning - she was grateful that I had called and warned her the night before because she went to bed earlier than she had been planning on. With this birth I spent most of my time laying on my side on the bed trying to get as much rest as I could - I was exhausted from not getting much sleep that night. DH & Hugs got the pool set up and as I got closer to the delivery I got into the water. My water broke once again in the water and then the kids started to wake up. I was a little concerned because we didn't have anyone there to take charge of the kids (my mom was supposed to do that) and I didn't want them to be a distraction to me. Hugs called a fellow midwife to come and be at the birth but she ended up getting to our house just after the baby was born. Hugs said that the last stage of my labor went quicker than she had anticipated. My favorite memory of this birth was Blondie coming in to the room and coming over to me in the pool and just quietly putting her hand on my shoulder. It was such a sweet gesture at that moment of the labor for me.

When I got to the pushing stage I told DH to move to the other side of the pool near Hugs so that he could observe the birth - usually he is at my head supporting me (either physically or emotionally) and he hadn't up to that point really seen the actual birth. I was pushing in a semi-reclined position in the birthing pool. As I felt the burning sensation of my body expanding, I slowed up on the pushing to prevent tearing. I just remember DH being amazed at how the head compresses so that it can fit through the birth canal. Once the head was born my midwife observed what she refers to as a turtle move where the head comes out and then goes back in slightly - this is a sign that the shoulders are stuck. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me again! This time my midwife was prepared for it and was in a better position to help the baby out so she didn't have to jump into the pool again. She was able to help ease the shoulders out and then I brought the baby up to my chest. The baby was quickly wrapped in a blanket and I held it to me keeping the body under the warm water. We sat there for several minutes before I looked to see if it was a boy or a girl. I looked and to my surprise it was another girl!! That whole pregnancy I had been planning on this being a boy! It took us a couple of days to finally decide on a name for her!

Kitty Jane was born around 8:30 a.m. Sunday morning, April 17th. She was 7 lbs 12 ozs, 19" long - so all of my kids so far have been within a pound of each other. My mom was not too happy to hear that she had missed another birth (she has been present for 2 out of the 4 now). DH had to call the primary president to let her know that I would not be able to teach my primary class that morning at 9!

Once again I didn't tear at all and I had a lot of energy immediately after the birth. After Kitty had tried nursing a little and they weighed and measured her, DH took all of the kids downstairs so that the midwives could work on me (my favorite part - uterus massaging). DH had the kids each take a turn holding their new baby sister & taking pictures while this was going on. I then hopped in the shower for a quick wash - as I was getting out of the birthing tub Luke looked at me and said, "Wow, you've got a dirty bum!" It was a funny comment coming from a 4 year old but that's what he noticed - as I'm sure you can imagine the water in the birthing tub gets fairly dirty from the birth & the placenta!

The only thing that I would change about Kitty's birth would have been for her to allow me to get a little more sleep before the labor started & for her not to have gotten stuck (neither of which I had any control over). Blondie & Kitty's births were very similar and the only reason I would call Blondie's birth my favorite is because I felt more rested up for it.

I have been very grateful for my midwife in all of my births and I love her laid back approach to birth - and yet she will quickly step in when the need arises. Kitty ended up having O neg blood so I didn't need a rhogam shot after her birth - and now that homebirth midwives can become licensed in the state, they can carry and administer rhogam themselves without the mother having to go to the hospital after the birth.

We also had a little bit of a roller coaster experience with Kitty a week or two after the birth because my body wasn't producing enough milk. When I took her in for her 2 week appointment she was not back up to her birth weight. Luckily we have an awesome pediatrician who gave me a list of things to do to get my milk production up and had me supplement with some formula in the meantime so that she would start gaining weight. My problem was that I was keeping myself too busy with the older kids and was not focusing enough on the baby. It's amazing how much of a psychological process childbirth & breastfeeding are...

Views on Childbirth - part 7

Read part 6: Luke's Birth here

Blondie's Birth
The biggest difficulty I had with Blondie's pregnancy was that we weren't sure where we would be living when her due date came along. DH was finishing up his graduate work at BYU and was looking for full-time employment. I decided to see my midwife Hugs again for my care and was hoping that we would be around in Utah for the birth so Hugs could be there. Blondie was due on July 13th and DH was due to finish up his graduate work in April. DH sent his resume to several places and we were actually hoping to get a job around the D.C. area for a few years - partly because my parents lived there but also partly for the experience. Well, we heard nothing from any of the companies and around April the church, which had not been hiring software engineers for quite a while, started interviewing for some new jobs that were being created in the Family History Dept. DH knew one of the managers from the church through some work at BYU and got an interview and was hired. He started work in May at Church Headquarters in downtown Salt Lake and we shortly after that started looking for a home to buy in the Salt Lake area. The way things worked out we found a home and were set to move in at the end of July/first part of August (perfect timing, huh?).

We had a 20 week ultrasound again to make sure everything looked fine with the baby and we decided not to find out the gender this time around. We figured that we already had one of each and it would be fun to be surprised with this one. My mom was set to fly out again about a week before my due date. She came out and my due date came & went with nothing. This was my first experience with an overdue baby. My mom was trying to decide if she should extend her stay at this point. July 14th was a Monday and we went to a local park for Family Home Evening. We did a lot of walking to see if that would jump start things.

Well, the next morning I woke up to contractions around 4 a.m. I was having back labor (again) and managed on my own for a time. Around 7 in the morning I woke up DH & we called Hugs. We then woke up my mom and the kids so we could start trying to get the birthing pool set up. We put in as much hot water as we could from the tap and then DH started boiling pots of water to dump in as well. I was actually in a great mood & frame of mind for the birth. I was really ready to have this baby and had read several books that contained mostly birth stories in them to prepare for the birth. There is something really inspiring about reading other people's birth stories. One of the books that I read talked some about keeping a sense of humor during the labor. I decided that I wanted to try this and it worked wonders for me. Most of the labor I sat on my bed with Hugs & DH in the room and we just talked about anything. Whenever a contraction would start in I would close my eyes and just silently endure them one at a time. Then I would continue in on the conversation. When things started to get more intense we decided to try out the pool. I got in and the water was TOO HOT. I stayed in for a few minutes and then had to get out because I couldn't take the heat. I think that they ended up dumping in some pots of cold water to cool it off and I was finally able to get in again. It is fairly relaxing to get in a big tub of warm water and just let the water take the weight off of your body and the contractions. Just before I got in the water for the second time I remember DH asking if he could do anything for me, to which I replied, "Yeah, you can have this baby for me." I also remember asking at one point why I let him do this to me. :) It was after that comment that my midwife said I must be going through transition and getting ready to finally have this baby. It's been nice having the same midwife for these homebirths because she can read me pretty well during labor now.

I got back into the pool and was trying to manage through the final contractions. I was feeling the urge to push so I started to push and there was a gush into the pool - my water finally broke. I was on my knees with my arms over the side of the pool bearing down. Before I knew it the head was out and was apparently out for several moments when the midwives realized that the baby's shoulders were stuck. Hugs quickly jumped into action and stepped into the pool with one leg and started trying to maneuver the baby out. She had me flip over onto my back and she was finally successful. (There isn't any danger in the baby trying to breathe in the water because the baby doesn't get the stimulation to breathe until it's mouth & nose come in contact with air.) I brought the baby up to my chest and we found out that it was a girl - which is what I had guessed. After the placenta was delivered I got out of the pool and moved over to the bed. Hugs was surprised that I didn't have any tearing the way she had to maneuver the baby around. Needless to say I was very ecstatic though!

Blondie was born around 1 p.m. on July 15th and was 8 lbs even. It was a very positive experience for the whole family & M&M & Luke both observed the birth. Luke was 2 1/2 & M&M was almost 5 at the time. M&M was excited to have a sister! There really isn't anything that I would have changed about Blondie's birth - it was awesome! (Actually, I would have loved it even more if I could have prevented her from getting stuck but I didn't really have any control over that.) I did have to go through the whole rhogam procedure again at the hospital but we knew a little more what to expect this time and we left Blondie home with Grandma.

The real drama with Blondie came a couple of weeks later. We moved to our house when Blondie was about 2 1/2 weeks old & DH was due to fly out to Scotland the next day for a research conference he was presenting at. My mom left several days after Blondie was born and then my dad flew out to help with the moving. While we in the process of moving, the BYU student health center was apparently trying to contact us and they only had our number for the apartment we were moving from (which had been disconnected by this time). They finally called my in-laws and we were given the message that I needed to call the clinic immediately. When I finally was able to call the clinic I was told to stop breastfeeding Blondie immediately and she needed to be put on a soy formula because of some abnormal results for a condition called galactosemia from her PKU screening! I got this message on a Saturday, the day after DH left for Scotland. That was all the information that I was given because the pediatrician & pediatric nurse wouldn't be back into the clinic until Monday!

In the meantime, my dad was leaving to fly back home so I was left with a newborn & 2 young kids in a neighborhood where I didn't know anyone. My dad was able to make some contacts for me before he left so we did have some people that were aware of my situation in the ward. I contacted my midwife as well and let her know what was going on. She came over to see me and thought that the test result was probably a false positive because Blondie was healthy in every way. I was able to use the internet at my neighbor's house to look up what galactosemia actually was and was able to print out some information to go off of. The main thing that I found out that didn't fit in with Blondie at all was that babies with this condition are very fussy & irritable when they are breastfed and they spit up a LOT. Blondie did not have this problem. My oldest brother also had a doctor friend that he talked to about the condition and he said that if the doctors were really concerned that her condition was life-threatening, they would have had her in the hospital on dialysis. It was very hard for me to feed Blondie a bottle with formula because I love nursing my kids. It is an awesome bonding experience for me & the baby. I would feed her formula and then I would pump as much as I could so that my milk supply wouldn't dry up.

On Saturday I was supposed to be cleaning up our old apartment and having a checkout with the managers but with everything going on I was able to postpone that until Monday. Thankfully Tan & Chez & Taryn were able to step in and help out and they went over to the apartment on Saturday and cleaned for me! I was VERY grateful for their help. On Monday I went down to the BYU Health Center to see the pediatrician and to have the second PKU test done. It had to be sent to a special lab for testing and the results were to be sent to the genetics research dept in Salt Lake. I actually started breastfeeding again at this point because I was pretty confident that Blondie did not have this disorder.

My midwife advised me to contact the genetics dept after 2 days to see if the results were in. I did this and they had just gotten the results and were in the process of sending them to the pediatrician down at BYU. The lady at the genetics dept told me that Blondie has a variant form of galactosemia which is not the full-blown condition. The condition that she has is the most mild form of galactosemia - she has one normal gene and one duarte gene - which means that her enzyme activity to break down lactose is just below normal. I was then told that I could resume breastfeeding and that Blondie would not need any type of diet change. The nurse then asked for my address so that she could send me a copy of the results. This was on a Wednesday that I found out the results. The next day I got a call from the nurse down at BYU who told me that they had just gotten the results from the genetics dept and that I would have to permanently stop breastfeeding and Blondie would have to follow a strict diet!?! I informed the nurse that I had called the genetics lab myself and had been informed that the mild form of the disorder that Blondie was diagnosed with didn't require any diet changes - to which she sheepishly responded, "Oh, sorry about that." Boy was I glad that I had taken my midwife's advice and called the lab myself!! As you may imagine, that was my last visit to that pediatrician!!

During all of this mess I was able to get in contact with DH's professor, who had gone to Scotland as well, through email and he gave DH to message to call home ASAP. DH ended up being delayed in Chicago for a day because of bad weather and didn't have any idea what was going on with Blondie until he got my message in Scotland on Sunday! After my dad left on Saturday my younger sister came out to spend some time with us while DH was gone which I was grateful for. Also that week M&M started kindergarten! Talk about a roller coaster ride! Thankfully though everything turned out fine in the end!!

Views on Childbirth - part 6

Read part 5: M&M's Birth here

Luke's Birth
When I became pregnant with Luke I did a lot more reading about natural childbirth and there was someone in my ward that had recently had a homebirth. The more I read the more I knew that natural childbirth was the best & safest option for me & my baby and I was increasingly interested in homebirth where the natural process would be uninterrupted. I also had a good conversation with the mother in the ward who had had a homebirth an learned that the homebirth midwives carry things like oxygen & pitocin for emergencies. I didn't think though that DH would ever agree to a homebirth, not in a million years. I was talking with someone in the ward once about childbirth and they asked me if I had asked my husband about homebirth. I responded that I had not so I vowed to go home and ask him that day. When I got home and just mentioned, almost in passing, that I would really like a homebirth - to my surprise he said sure, why not. After talking over the subject a little more with him I realized that he was really put off by the hospital with M&M's birth and if things could be carried out just as safely at home then he would support me in my decision. At this point I had been seeing the CNM group again and we decided that I would stick with them until my 20-week ultrasound and then provided everything looked healthy with the baby I would look for a homebirth midwife to switch care to.

Well, everything went fine for the ultrasound & we found out we were having a boy (yea!). I called up the homebirth midwife that my friend in the ward had used and found out that she was already full of clients for the month that I was due but that she had a partner that had just started attending births on her own that I could interview with. So I interviewed with "Hugs" and I really liked her. She has a very laid-back attitude, is LDS and I just felt good about choosing her as my provider. I found out in the interview that in this practice they always have a backup midwife there at the birth as well as one or two apprentice midwives who are studying to become midwives. I also learned that this practice did waterbirths as well for those that wanted one. They provide the pool and you just have to set it up during the labor. When I mentioned the back labor that I had in M&M's birth Hugs told me of some things they can do to relieve back pain if I experience it with this next birth. She also didn't sound concerned about M&M's trouble breathing after the birth and that it wasn't unusual. The midwife practice had a "library" of birth books & videos that you could borrow and I certainly read my share during this pregnancy. I was excited & nervous about the upcoming birth, but even after four births under my belt now, I still get the same feelings when my due date approaches.

Luke was due on Friday, February 2. My mom decided to fly out about a week before the birth and stay for 2 weeks. That would give her a little bit of leeway on either side of my due date (you have to remember though that she missed M&M's birth because M&M was 12 days early). I was a little more anxious to have my mom at this birth because she could take charge of M&M for us. M&M was 2 1/2 at this time and I wanted her to be present for the birth so she would feel included in this big family event and so she didn't feel left out and jealous of her new baby brother.

The Saturday before Luke's due date I had some pretty intense baby pain all day long. I was very uncomfortable and was wondering if this meant that I would be going into labor soon. As it turns out I wasn't in labor and we think that the baby was just moving positions which caused the pain. I was afraid that my mom would miss the birth again though because I don't think she flew out until the next day, on Sunday.

Well, nothing happened for the next couple of days and then on Wednesday night I got up around midnight to use the bathroom and felt a little "ping" and then next thing I knew there where water gushing out. My water broke! (Luckily for me it happened over the toilet...) I woke up DH and we decided that we would go back to bed and get what sleep we could before labor started. I knew at this point that the baby's head was engaged in the pelvis so there was no chance for a prolapsed cord and that the baby doesn't have to be born immediately after your water breaks. About two hours later I started having contractions and couldn't really sleep anymore at that point. So I stayed up managing on my own for several hours and then I woke DH up. I was having back labor again and wasn't too happy about it. DH called Hugs around 6 in the morning and then we woke up my mom shortly after that to let her know what was going on. Hugs arrived around 7 to see how I was doing. We discussed some options for dealing with the back labor and I decided to try a device called a TENS unit. This is a device where some electrodes are connected to the skin and there is a controller that sends electric pulses to the electrodes. These electrodes were placed over my lower back and then I could control how strong & how often the pulses were sent. I think that the device helped a little at first but as labor progressed I think the unit got bumped and I ended up having severe pain afterwards as a result of it. (I don't think that I will ever use it again during labor...)

After Hugs arrived we also were trying to decide if there was enough time to set up the birthing pool and get it filled with water. The problem with the birthing pool is that it takes quite a while to get it filled with water. It has to be filled with hot water because the water heater can only maintain the water at a certain temperature, it can't heat the water. So once you've emptied the hot water heater, you have to wait for it to fill up again with hot water. Hugs thought that I was far enough along in my labor that there wasn't going to be enough time to fill up the pool so we decided not to try this time around. I don't think I really cared at this point but it would have been nice to have soaked in some hot water to help relieve some of my back pain...

I labored in the living room for a time and then decided to move back into our bedroom. I tried laying on the bed for a little while and then Hugs checked me and I was dilated to a 10 finally! I tried pushing a little on the bed and then we decided to use the birthing stool. DH sat on the bed behind me to help support me. As I was pushing Luke out the apprentice midwife was listening to his heart rate. Apparently whenever I would push his heart rate would drop. This is usually a sign that the umbilical cord is around the neck. Hugs told me that I really needed to concentrate and I needed to push hard and deliver him. After another push or two Luke's head came out and Hugs unwrapped the cord from around his neck and then I delivered the rest of him. Luke was a bluish color and wasn't trying very hard to breathe at first. The midwives tried putting an oxygen mask on him but for some reason the oxygen tank wasn't working quite right so Hugs gave Luke 2 quick puffs of air into the mouth. After that he started to breathe and started to pink up finally. We think that what happened is that the cord was pulling tighter around Luke's neck as he was being pushed out of the birth canal. (I have since found out that the cord around the neck is a very common problem and that it occurs in about 1 out of 3 to 1 out of 4 births.) I could see my mom holding M&M in the doorway of the bedroom and could tell that she was somewhat concerned over what had just happened so I invited her over to see her new baby brother. She was very sweet with him and I was excited to have the birth part finally done with.

After the placenta was delivered they moved me onto the bed to check me out a little. This involves massaging the uterus to get the bleeding to stop and checking for any tears. I think that I was most nervous with this birth about tearing again. As it turns out I only had a really small tear that didn't require any stitches. I was really excited about that! I think that the part I dislike most about birth though is what happens afterwards. Hugs started massaging my uterus to get out any blood clots and to get the bleeding to stop and it HURTS!! When M&M was born in the hospital the CNM gave me a shot of pitocin afterwards to help the uterus stop bleeding and I don't remember her doing any massaging (I also think it doesn't need to be done as much after a first birth). Hugs was concerned that the bleeding wasn't stopping and was considering giving me a shot of pitocin. First though she suggested that I take a trip to the bathroom since I hadn't been in a while. After they helped me into the bathroom I apparently sat down on the toilet and then passed out... The next thing I remember was DH carrying me back to the bedroom and laying me down on the bed. The midwives put the oxygen tube near my mouth & nose and then proceeded to check on the bleeding once again. Well, apparently the trip to the bathroom helped (or maybe the fainting) because after that my uterus started to clamp down and I didn't need the pitocin after all. (I found out later that at this point it was actually illegal for these midwives to be carrying and administering pitocin which is why they later pursued legislation to legalize it.)

The other thing that I dislike more than the birth itself is the afterbirth contractions that you feel for several days every time you try to breastfeed the baby - they are PAINFUL! And since I have back labor with all of my births, the afterbirth contractions I feel afterwards are also in my back - and they get worse with each child! (Actually I think they were the worst with Luke because of the TENS unit that got bumped into overload at the end of the labor.)

The other not so fun thing after Luke's birth is that we had to go to the hospital for me to get a rhogam shot. I have O- blood and DH has O+ blood so after each birth the baby's blood has to be typed to determine if I need a rhogam shot or not. M&M was born with O- so I didn't need the shot after birth, but Luke has O+. That means that within 72 hours of the birth I need to get a shot of rhogam so that my body does not build up immunities to the positive blood which could result in a miscarriage of a subsequent pregnancy. So the day after the birth DH & I went to the local hospital to get the shot. We brought Luke with us because we weren't sure if they would need to draw his blood or not. The hospital staff was all confused about how to handle my case. At first they thought that I was there for a 30 week rhogam shot (it is typically given during pregnancy as well) and then once they figured it out they sent me back to get my blood drawn. I was trying to explain that I didn't need my blood drawn because I knew that I was O- and my baby was O+, but I got the response that that is just what they have to do... (I found out later that the reason they do this is to test the sensitivity that my blood already has to the positive blood so that they can give me the right dosage of the shot. It would have been nice if they could have told me that upfront.) So, I had my blood drawn and then we had to go home again and come back the next day for the actual shot - what a pain!!! When I went the next day to get the shot, the nurse that administered it to me had to relate to me how unsafe homebirth can be and that one of her babies would have died if it had been born at home... (Unfortunately, this is a response that I hear quite often when people find out that I give birth at home. With each case that I hear about though, when I ask my midwife about it she explains to me how they would handle that particular situation at home - and usually it is not an emergency situation that will result in death, no matter what the doctor may tell the mother.)

Luke was born on Thursday, Feb 1st, at around 10:23 in the morning. So my labor with him was around 8 1/2 hours, much better than the 29 hour labor with M&M. He weighed 8 lbs 4 ozs and was 21 in long. It turns out that we probably would have had time to fill up the birthing pool because the labor took a little longer than Hugs thought it would. The thing I would change about Luke's birth would be not to use the TENS unit - other than that I was really happy with the way things turned out and it was a nice, peaceful, natural birth. I talked with Hugs afterwards about Luke's breathing problems at birth and she said that they were never terribly worried about him since he was still attached to the umbilical cord. As long as the umbilical cord is still attached and pulsating, there can be up to several minutes before the baby has to make a total switch over to breathing on its own. That is why most homebirth midwives don't cut the cord immediately after the birth - there is really no need to. With M&M's birth, M&M probably would have done better if we had left the cord attached and just tried to stimulate her breathing while she was resting on my chest. Also, M&M must not have been in too much danger or they wouldn't have had DH over there doing the work...

Views on Childbirth - part 5

Read part 4 here

M&M's Birth
For the most part, my pregnancy with M&M was pretty normal. I had some high blood pressure now and then but I think it was mostly due to white coat syndrome (my b.p. rising when having it taken at the office). I was also retaining a LOT of water for about the last month. My ankles were HUGE towards the end. A lot of this can be attributed to a very hot summer (with no central air in our apartment & no air conditioning in the car either) as well as the fact that we moved to a new apartment when I had just a little over a month left & I did a lot of the moving of the smaller stuff. DH & I were happy with our decision to see the CNM group for maternity care and we loved the natural childbirth class that we were taking. My due date was August 11 and everyone told us to plan on the baby being late with the first pregnancy. So I was all set to have the baby in the middle of August and my mom was set to fly out from Virginia to help out around that time.

On Wednesday, July 29, I went to a regular prenatal appointment with the CNMs. The night before I lost my mucous plug and I mentioned it to the midwife. She did an internal exam and was a little concerned because there was a little bit of blood. She said that I was dilated to about 1 cm and was 80% effaced. She checked my chart and noticed that with my first ultrasound the placenta was low-lying in the uterus. She recommended that I have a follow-up ultrasound done to make sure that the placenta had moved up in the uterus and wasn't anywhere near the opening. They were able to fit me in for the ultrasound not long after that so I called DH at work and he drove up to join me. The ultrasound showed that everything was fine and there was nothing to worry about with the placenta.

DH & I drove separately back to work (we worked at the same company) and once I got there I sat at my desk and not too long afterwards started noticing what I thought were contractions (after all this was my first baby). They were fairly mild & far apart but they were also fairly regular. I went downstairs and told DH this. He was quite surprised (as was I) and I decided to go home to rest a little. When DH came home the contractions were still coming and we realized that we needed to go to the store to buy some last minute things. So we headed off to the mall and we had to pause every time a contraction came on. Unfortunately I was having back labor and was starting to get somewhat miserable.

Around midnight we decided to phone the CNM on call and head up to the hospital. When we got there I was checked and found to be 2 cm dilated & 90% effaced. I was informed though that this could still just be false labor and could stop at anytime (especially since I had another 2 weeks until my due date). The CNM recommended I get a shot of morphine and go back home to try and get some rest. I was somewhat disappointed at this point because I was in some pretty intense pain and was only at a 2!! So we agreed to a morphine shot and drove home. The CNM was pretty sure that I would be able to get a few hours of sleep after the shot and then would be able to tell afterwards if I was really in labor or not.

We got home around 5 a.m. and I slept for maybe an hour and then was up again with contractions. I let DH sleep as long as I could manage without him so he was able to get a couple of hours. After that I woke him up and with every contraction I had him press on some counterpoints on my back to try and relieve the back pain. It ended up being a pretty long day and we put off going into the hospital again as long as we thought we could - the last thing we wanted was to be sent home again. Around 3 p.m. DH called the midwife office and said that he would bring me in to the office to have me checked out there before the office closed for the day.

It was a very hot day & as I mentioned before we had no A/C in the car. When we arrived at the office DH & I walked in and they quickly rushed me back to an examining room. I'm sure that I scared all of the pregnant women in the waiting area with the moaning noises that I was making and the fact that I looked (and felt) utterly miserable. Two of the midwives came in and helped me up onto the examining table to check me out. As they had me laying there I tried to get up saying that I really needed to use the bathroom. Well, they quickly kept hold of me and said that I wasn't going anywhere and when they checked me I was dilated to a 10! The midwife also asked when my water broke because there apparently was some amniotic fluid present. (We think that it was just a small break because I hadn't felt any gush of water or any wetness up to this point.) Looking back now I laugh at myself because I didn't know at the time that the urge push out the baby is the same feeling like you're having a bowel movement. At this point we had one more childbirth class left and it was the class where we were going to discuss the actual delivery & how to push... I think also that up to this point I was still in denial that I was really in labor and going to have this baby. I was still planning on 2 more weeks of pregnancy!

Well, the midwives quickly went into action and prepared to deliver the baby there if they needed to, but at the same time called 911 so we could take an ambulance to the hospital. At this time the midwives' office was across town from the hospital. (They later moved to a new building right next door to the hospital.) I'm sure that everyone in the waiting room was scared once again when an ambulance pulled up to the front door and I was wheeled out on a stretcher. The midwife that was on call for the day went in the ambulance with me and DH was told by the ambulance driver to follow closely in our car. My midwife advised me before we got into the ambulance to NOT PUSH if I could absolutely help it. She wanted to make it to the hospital first so that she could deliver the baby and not the paramedics. She said that paramedics usually have to deal with tragic cases such as car accidents & traumatic events at people's homes and that they absolutely love anything to do with happy events such as birth. I thought that it was a pretty funny advice. The paramedics kept trying to give me an I.V. or oxygen but the midwife kept declining.

Luckily it was a relatively short ambulance ride (a first for me) and I didn't have any urges to push. I think that when the midwives told me at the office that I was dilated to a 10 my body went into a time-out so I could get a grip on the situation. We arrived at the hospital with plenty of time to deliver the baby there and DH arrived a few minutes later (he got stopped by a red light at one intersection and didn't feel right about running the red behind the ambulance). The ambulance driver actually apologized to him afterwards for losing him.

Once at the hospital they got me into a room and we got ready for the birth of M&M. The midwife that attended me was not one of the 2 midwives that I had gotten to know really well but that was okay. I had an awesome delivery nurse who was really positive and gave some great help & support during the pushing. The midwife broke my water the rest of the way once I started to push and I definitely felt a gush after that. M&M was born about an hour after arriving at the hospital. As I was pushing, the midwife wanted to give me an episiotomy because she could tell that I was going to tear, but we didn't want one and she didn't push the issue. DH & I were grateful about that. (What I had learned about episiotomies is that if you start a tear by cutting an episiotomy, it is much more likely that you will tear even more. I also learned that a natural tear will actually heal better because it is not a straight cut so the tissue will fuse back together better & stronger. Unfortunately, though, most doctors & some midwives don't believe this.)

When M&M was finally born the midwife put her briefly onto my belly and then they quickly took her away because she was having problems breathing and was "floppy" (poor muscle tone which is a result of breathing problems). They had DH go over to the warming table with M&M and had him hit her on the back to try and stimulate her breathing. DH said that they kept telling him to hit her harder - which he felt really weird doing to his newborn baby...

After they got M&M breathing they still had to take her to the nursery for additional oxygen - she had a low blood/oxygen level so they wanted to keep her under an oxygen bubble. DH was able to carry M&M to the nursery and he kept asking when I would get a chance to hold her and be with her - to which they didn't really give him an answer or said that it was up to the pediatrician. She ended up being put on an I.V. which complicated the initial breastfeeding somewhat.

I did end up tearing somewhat (a deep 2) but I had a relatively pain free recovery afterwards and healed up just fine. After I was stitched up they wheeled me to my recovery room and we stopped at the nursery on the way to take a look at M&M. Once we were situated in the recovery room DH & I proceeded to call our families with the surprising news. She weighed in at 7 lbs 6 ozs and was 18 1/2" long. DH left for the night because there was really no place in the room for him to sleep.

I slept for a couple of hours and then I woke up around midnight and felt very much awake. I wanted to know what was going on with M&M so I got up and walked down to the nursery to look in on her. I felt like I was a stranger there and didn't even feel comfortable walking in to see her. I think that the nurses noticed me though because a few minutes after I returned to my room they brought her in for me to hold & try to nurse. They said that she was doing much better. There was a sensor attached to her foot to measure her blood/oxygen level. The nurse handed M&M to me and I ended up just falling asleep with her resting on my chest. I was so grateful to finally be able to hold her & was in tears when I called DH in the morning to tell him.

The most irritating thing for us about M&M's whole birth experience was all of the hospital rules & procedures that we had to follow. There was a lactation nurse at the hospital who came in to help me with nursing. They had a chart that we were supposed to fill out on how much the baby nursed and how often we changed a diaper. At one point one of the nurses said to me that they would have to start supplementing with a bottle if M&M didn't nurse better. That's when the lactation nurse told me to just make up numbers for the chart because the worst thing you can do with a newborn is to supplement with a bottle when they are learning how to breastfeed. We also had to stay an extra day because the pediatrician didn't want to release her the first day even though they could find nothing wrong with her. No one that I told the birth story to afterwards seemed alarmed at all about M&M's breathing problems and just said that she had a rough transition which is not an uncommon thing to happen. The other rule that we didn't care for was that I had to be wheeled out of the hospital in a wheelchair even though I was up and walking perfectly fine on my own. It was also frustrating that none of the nurses seemed to be able to answer any of our questions on M&M's condition or on when she would be allowed to go home. Everything that happened just made us feel like we were patients, not parents, and that the hospital definitely had control over everything.

Aside from the hospital rules, the thing that I would change the most about M&M's birth would have been the whole pushing stage. I think that the midwife was too anxious to have me push M&M out - that my body wasn't given enough time to stretch and the result was the tearing that occurred. I also think that I would have done better if I had had more support at home in addition to DH. DH was just plain worn out at the end and having never had a baby himself or attended a birth didn't quite know how to best help me at times during labor. He also learned that I turn into a completely different person when I am in labor. :) I was also told by several CNMs in the practice that if we had arrived at the hospital earlier I probably would have asked for pain medication because of the back labor I had (but I'm not so sure of that).

Overall I achieved my goals of a drug-free labor & no episiotomy which made me feel great! I actually did it (and thanks in large part to the support I received from DH, who initially thought I was crazy for wanting to try)!

Views on Childbirth - part 4

I want to start out this blog by clarifying some statements that I made yesterday in part 3. I have nothing against OB/GYNs and the care that they give to women. I only mentioned that I have never seen one during my pregnancies because I wanted everyone reading these blog entries to know where I am coming from and what experience I have had with them. I have never had a doctor attend to me in pregnancy or childbirth so some of what I say concerning them is just what I have heard & read, not what I have personally experienced. I have been very fortunate to have had so far 4 low-risk pregnancies & births and am nearing the birth of my 5th child which has so far been an uneventful pregnancy. I know that there are some excellent OB/GYNs out there and I have seen several for non-maternity related care.

Regarding childbirth in general I think that all women need to do their own reading & research and make the decisions that they are most comfortable with for them and their situation. I do not think that homebirth is for everyone and I also don't think that unmedicated childbirth is for everyone. I will say though that I think that the more satisfied a woman is with her birth experience, the less likely she is to suffer from postpartum depression and the quicker her recovery will be after the birth. Childbirth can be an incredibly powerful experience for a woman and the more control she has over that experience, the more power she will feel from it. We also need to remember though that complications can & do arise with no warning and we need to be able to cope with that change in situation as well and be able to come to terms with it if a complication does arise.

Views on Childbirth - part 3

Doctors vs. Midwives

As I mentioned in part 2, DH & I decided on a hospital birth with a Certified Nurse-Midwife (CNM) for our first birth. The main difference between midwives & OB/GYNs for childbirth is that the midwife will pretty much stay with you throughout the whole labor & delivery whereas a doctor will just check in periodically and show up in time to catch the baby at the very end. Unfortunately for those who deliver in the hospital regardless of who your provider is, you are still at the mercy of all the hospital procedures that are routinely done for everyone unless you put up a big stink about it and are really proactive.

Midwives in general have a more natural philosophy of childbirth and are usually willing to let you try out different techniques & positions for the birth. The midwife group that I saw for Emily's pregnancy had about 6 midwives and I was able to meet them all at least once before the birth. There were two in particular that I really liked and that I really got to know throughout my pregnancy. (Unfortunately neither of them were on call the day I had her.)

Doctors in general just want you to be their patient and do what they tell you to do without questioning anything. They will routinely order pitocin to speed up the labor and are usually more than willing to induce a woman early for no particular reason other than the mother and/or doctor wants to. Now I realize that there are many exceptions to these generalities, but unfortunately those doctors are getting harder and harder to find.

I have never seen an OB/GYN for any of my pregnancies but if I had some complications develop, I wouldn't hesitate to see one because that is what they are trained in - dealing with complications & high-risk cases. Doctors have a hard time just sitting back and letting a woman's body control & dictate the labor - they like to feel like they are in charge and are there to "deliver" the baby for you. The problem with that is that the woman's body knows better what to do during labor & delivery than the doctor knows - and each labor is unique and different - which doesn't always conform to the hospital/doctor time-frame.

I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of a woman being in labor in the hospital and things aren't going as quickly as the doctor would like so he/she orders pitocin to speed up the labor. The pitocin then causes the contractions to be much stronger & closer together so that the woman can no longer manage the pain. The woman then asks for an epidural for the pain. In the meantime the increase in strength of the contractions leads to distress in the baby so that the doctor has to rush in and save the baby by performing a C-section. The sad fact is that in the United States, the C-section rate is over 30%!!! That is an outrageous number! Not only is a C-section major surgery, but it reduces the number of children that a woman can have and a lot of doctors & hospital are now developing the philosophy that once a C-section, always a C-section - which will greatly reduce the number of kids you can have.

The other unfortunate statistic in our generation is that the U.S. has the highest infant mortality rate out of all industrialized nations. Why is that, when we have the best obstetrical care that money can buy? My feeling is that the more interventions that are done during labor, the greater the risk of complications which can lead to infant death. These routine procedures in the hospital are not without risk to both mother & baby and once you start down that path it is harder to reverse the effects.

More articles on autism

Here are two somewhat disturbing articles on possible causes of autism. If you are currently pregnant or planning on having kids in the future, I would definitely read these. One is on a possible link between ultrasounds & autism and the other is on a possible link between pitocin during labor & autism. One thing is definitely clear to me and that is that there has been a HUGE increase in autism rates over the last 20 or so years in ALL industrialized countries - and these numbers cannot be justified by the explanation that there are better tests available today to diagnose it. Another disturbing trend is that a good portion of these children come from families that have high incomes and are well educated - who have the best obstetrical care money can buy. While I personally don't think that having one ultrasound during your pregnancy around 20 weeks will harm your unborn baby, this first article does make me question the use of multiple ultrasounds throughout pregnancy & especially ones in the first trimester when the baby's brain & neurological system is initially developing.

Questions about Prenatal Ultrasound and the Alarming Increase in Autism by Caroline Rodgers from Midwifery Today website

ATTN: Researchers- Look in the first environment, the womb from Autism Today website

Views on Childbirth - part 2

Before I had any kids I had never even thought about or heard about homebirth. When I became pregnant with M&M I heard about a group of certified nurse midwives (CNMs) through some people in my BYU married student ward. They were located in American Fork and reported to be really good. Since I have never been crazy about too many doctors during my short lifetime the idea sounded intriguing to me and they were covered by my insurance plan. So I made an appointment to attend an introductory meeting where they meet with groups of expectant parents and talk about their practice, insurance, hospitals, etc. I think that that was the first place that I heard any mention about homebirth. One of the midwives that was conducting the meeting talked briefly about their beliefs about childbirth - how it was a natural process and that it was even safely done at home. The other thing that happened around this time is that I started immersing myself in childbirth websites on the internet. There were quite a few that I found that had birth stories that people had written and submitted for others to read. I became fascinated with reading other people's experiences. The one thing that struck me the most while reading birth stories was the marked difference between women who gave birth in the hospital with an epidural versus those who had natural, drug-free births. It was amazing to me the difference in attitude of these women. The women who gave birth without drugs had such positive views on their births and felt so empowered by the whole experience. Even more amazing were the experiences of women who gave birth at home, where they were in their own element and in control. I was increasingly saddened though by the numerous stories of women who chose to give birth in the hospital and through the process of hospital "procedures" were subjected to intervention after intervention which ultimately led to a C-section to "save" the baby.

At first I wasn't even interested in the homebirth part until I read more about it and the safety of it (but that came later on). I was also introduced to the idea of waterbirth which some stories also mentioned. More than anything though I quickly knew that I wanted a natural birth. I wanted to be able to have full feeling of my body & what it was trying to tell me during each stage of the birth process. I wanted to be able to walk & move around. I wanted to be fully awake & drug-free when I welcomed my baby into the world - to feel the natural high that comes after childbirth. I also wanted my baby to be drug-free and alert after birth. Another reason drug-free was appealing to me is that I have never been crazy about taking drugs for anything (even over-the-counter medicine) - I have to be pretty miserable before I will even take some Tylenol or ibuprofen. So the idea of being able to go through childbirth drug-free was very appealing to me in that aspect as well.

When I mentioned natural childbirth to DH, he thought that I was absolutely crazy. He felt that we have hospitals & drugs for a reason and didn't think that I could ever manage the pain associated with childbirth. He even said that in the scriptures you read that childbirth is meant to be hard & painful - so why would you not want drugs... Needless to say I was a little disheartened by this but I wasn't ready to give up yet. At one of my appointments one of the CNMs asked me if I was planning on taking a childbirth class. I mentioned that I wasn't too crazy about taking one offered at the hospital and was somewhat interested in natural childbirth. So she gave me the name and phone number of someone she knew who she thought was teaching some independent natural childbirth classes. I called the phone number and the lady who answered said that she wasn't teaching at that time but she knew someone else who was and gave me another name & phone number (it turns out that the first lady I talked to is now my midwife - I made the connection several years later).

So DH & I attended natural childbirth classes with one other couple through an independent instructor. DH & I absolutely loved the class & it was a real eye opener for both of us - but especially for DH. We learned about the whole process of childbirth and what the body goes through at each of the various stages. We also learned what the cause of pain in childbirth is and how to try and cope with it. I learned most of all that childbirth is almost more of a psychological battle than a physical one - so much of what a woman experiences can be changed by how she views the whole process in her mind. The reason we feel pain is because we are afraid and trying to control something that our body can do on its own. The less you fear the process and give in to your body the less pain you will experience (this is definitely hard to do). After attending a few classes, DH was converted to the idea of natural childbirth and we were both determined to have as natural a birth as we possibly could.

Childbirth Books

Here are some books that I would recommend for anyone to read that is currently pregnant. The first two books are geared more towards the process of birth and how to have a safe, positive birth. The third book is a very enlightening look at how childbirth has evolved over the history of our country. It's more of a study on anthropology and how we came to the current views on childbirth. This one isn't necessarily for someone who is pregnant but can be read by anyone interested in childbirth.

1. The Birth Book by Dr. William Sears & Martha Sears
I love this book! It looks at all options available for childbirth and talks about the births of each of their children (9 I think). I also LOVE their book The Baby Book for the first two years of your baby's life.

2. Gentle Birth Choices by Barbara Harper
I don't have a copy of this book but it is one on my list to buy. If I recall correctly it talks a lot about alternative choices to a hospital birth and making your experience "gentle" for the baby. It also talks about waterbirth.

3. Birth as an American Rite of Passage by Robbie E. Davis-Floyd
I also don't have a copy of this book but it is another one on my list to buy. I loved reading about how we have evolved as a country in the aspect of childbirth and how that evolution isn't necessarily a good thing for us as childbearing women. It's a book that definitely makes you think and take a look at the medical community a little bit differently.

Views on Childbirth - part 1

I want to start out my series on childbirth with a brief overview. This is what I wrote down to say in the Senate committee meeting if I had had the opportunity to speak:

My husband & I have 4 beautiful children & are currently expecting our 5th. I first heard about homebirth when I was pregnant with my first child. When I mentioned the idea to my husband he thought I was absolutely crazy. So we compromised with our first and she was born naturally with a certified nurse-midwife (CNM) in the hospital. When I became pregnant with my second child I mentioned homebirth again to my husband and he agreed.

My husband & I are probably some of the last people you would ever think would choose homebirth. We are both very logical & technical people and we each have college degrees in computer science. We would not have made the decision if we didn't know that it was a safe option for me and I have been blessed with having an experienced & very competent midwife.

Now you will be told numerous horror stories of homebirths gone bad, but I have yet to hear any that involve any of these midwives who are licensed under Utah law. I can also tell you that for every homebirth horror story, I have heard more than 10 times that number of hospital births gone bad that are usually the result of unnecessary procedures and interventions - births that should have been low-risk, uncomplicated deliveries.

While this bill does not have any factors that would "risk" me out, I know that it would severely limit the number of clients that my midwife could take and would force many of these women out of business or force them to give up their license and the ability to carry some important and possibly life-saving drugs with them.

I want you to know that I love my children. I love this baby that I am currently carrying and for the medical community to say or even insinuate that I don't want a safe, positive outcome for myself and my baby is hurtful. We as mothers & fathers & midwives want nothing less than good outcomes and will do all in our power to ensure that - even if it means transferring to a hospital under a physician's care.

I urge you to see this bill for what it really is - the medical community trying to exert power & control over these professionals who they feel are infringing on their territory.

Please vote "no" on this bill. Thank you for your time.

Patients' Rights

Here is a great article on patients' rights (focusing primarily on childbirth) that I recently read. This has a lot to do with what the Utah Medical Association is trying to impose on us as citizens of the state with the proposed midwife amendments bill. I have thought a lot about the topic and have been asked recently why I made the decision to give birth at home. Stay tuned for a series of blog entries on how DH & I came to the decision and then the birth stories of our four kids. In the meantime read this article for some food for thought:

Consumer First, Patient Second
Finding the right care provider for your pregnancy and birth
By Sherry L. Payne RN BSN

I had a long conversation with my friend, Pam, the other night. She is in her final month of pregnancy, with her first baby, who is in breech position. Her physician is suggesting a cesarean. If attempts to turn the baby are unsuccessful, she will consider a homebirth in order to avoid the surgery. I urged her to let her doctor know her thinking. Woman are often unwilling to have a frank discussion with their caregivers about their wants and desires. I reminded my friend that she selected this provider (or group of providers) and that she is paying them to be competent partners in this process. During a crisis is not the time to start doing things behind their backs but tell them exactly what you plan to do and why and listen to their feedback (but take it with a grain of salt- they don't have the final say- you do). I think this approach is important because it preserves the integrity of the relationship. Physicians and midwives are not mind readers. They need to know and understand what type of care clients desire, or what they don't want and why. Otherwise they'll just continue to think women are happy with the care they are getting.
Think about this question: What is the role of your pregnancy and birth care provider? Is it to manage your pregnancy, labor and birth for you? Is it to take care of you during pregnancy and birth? Is it to deliver your baby for you? Is it to ensure that you have a healthy baby? May I make the audacious statement that all these things are in your own power to do. When I hear statements like, “my doctor won’t LET me do that” or “my doctor says I can TRY that and see how it goes” it tells me how out of balance the care provider is with the care receiver. It is not the proper role of any physician or midwife to tell you how to have your baby (or where, or when). Receivers of health care must adopt a more pro-active consumer role in their own healthcare delivery. Nowhere is this more obvious in healthcare than in obstetrics where as a labor and delivery nurse, I have seen care providers of all types routinely bully, control, and dominate their patients. Your care provider should be a competent guide through the process. He or she is not your daddy. They can’t tell you what you will or won’t do throughout your pregnancy, labor, and birth. They can suggest what they think is best, but the final course of action should be up to you.
This does not mean that a caregiver does not have the right to define their parameters for care. If a midwife only wants to take vegetarian mothers as clients, that’s her prerogative. If you happen not to be a vegetarian and really want this midwife to care for you, then you have a choice to make. The same is true for physicians. If their parameters of care include routine epidurals, episiotomies for all their patients, routines IVs, etc. then that is their place of comfort in giving care. If you don’t want any of those things, you’d be much better off finding a different physician than trying to convert this one to your way of thinking, because you’re asking them to take themselves out of their comfort zone to care for you. It’s important that as consumers of healthcare, women understand the pressures that come to bear upon care providers.
Consumers greatly underestimate the role litigious threat has had on healthcare. One of the reasons obstetrics has become so defensive in practice is because the threat of a lawsuit hangs heavily over their heads. Now some medical lawsuits are well deserved, others frivolous, yet taken together their impact has changed healthcare, and not for the better. Obstetricians are more likely than physicians in any other specialty to be sued for malpractice. This alone has changed the way they approach birth- the way they approach you. Midwives don’t get sued nearly as much, but they are still confronted with the ever growing threat. If you think your relationship with your caregiver is built on trust- well, this may be an idea whose time has passed. Trusting patients is a luxury most physicians find they can no longer afford. Many malpractice attorneys and nurse-attorneys make their livings teaching healthcare professionals how not to get sued. It boils down to defensive practice. This translates into taking all precautions, ordering all the tests, acting the moment something appears amiss. If all else fails, there is always the ultimate medical intervention for a birth at risk- perform a cesarean section. This, among other reasons, is why the cesarean rate has risen to 30% and above. Birth has not suddenly become more dangerous, the practice of delivery babies has.
This is why it is so important to know your own philosophy of birth AND your care provider’s philosophy of birth. It will be far more productive to find a caregiver that agrees with your philosophy of care than to try to convert someone because you like them. Don’t just hope you’ll be the exception or that things will go well- you won’t be and they won’t. Liking your caregiver is not sufficient criteria for choosing him or her.
As consumers you’ve got to do your homework. Get referrals from friends and family, asking them WHY they think this person is so great. Listen to their birth stories- do you want yours to mirror theirs? Google them and find out about them, go to those rating sites and see if someone has left comments about your particular caregiver. Ask your caregiver directly for client testimonials or references. Ask directly for their cesarean and induction rates. (If they won’t give them to you, that’s a red flag). Your ultimate goal should be to find the caregiver, be it physician or midwife, OB or family practice, that is right for you.

Sidebar
Questions to ask your potential care provider
What is your philosophy of birth? (They may have it in written form-even better.)
What are your practice protocols? (What do they do routinely for every patient?)
How many births do you do a month? (Will they be available for you?)
Do you attend your own patients or do I get whoever is on call for your practice group? (This is more the rule now than the exception.)
Will I have an opportunity to meet all the physicians and or midwives in your practice?
Will they abide by any agreements made by you and I?
Which settings do you practice in? (Hospitals, home, birthcenters, etc)
How do you feel about ____________________ (epidurals, episiotomies, routine IVs, or conversely birth balls, squatting, or loud verbalizations – you’d be amazed by how many providers think the birthing woman should be quiet)
What are your parameters for inductions? (What medical or non-medical criteria do they use to decide?)
How available are you (or your staff) for questions between and during appointments?